Before I start, I just want to say that the best part about writing for a site like CollegeHumor, is that you know everybody that cares about you, will read it. Isn't that right, Charlene?

Anyway, here we go:

10) Set up a camera in the rec-room of your OWN DORM HALL, so that you can catch people doing stuff.

9) I mean, you had a sneaking suspicion but, no hard evidence.

8) Watch the footage in disbelief. You don't deserve this. Nobody deserves to be treated like this.

7) So when you said you couldn't go on a ski trip with me because you had to be with your family over winter break, you meant you couldn't go on a ski trip because you were going to get railed on a couch in the rec-room of my dorm hall for everybody to see.

6) Wake your roommate up every day at 8 a.m. yelling "You're late for your final!" The look on his face will be priceless.

5) How the fuck could you do this to me?

4) I can't believe I was ever "in love" with somebody like you. You're so ugly to me right now.

3) You still have my green t-shirt. I expect it back by Friday. I also think its soft and would like to sleep in it. Not that you care what I think.

2) What are we doing, here? I know you didn't mean to hurt me.

1) I'm so sorry. I never meant to embarrass you baby, I just freaked out. I still love you and think we can work things out. Text me.