"Not another Jefferson County accidental accident. Oh, the humanity!"

Cardinals Bottle Cap Beer Pong table

It's like putting a really big puzzle together... except you have to drink a beer for each of the 4800 pieces.

Finally a retirement home to payback my grandma for all the ear pulling and incessant nagging.

America's fight against the obesity epidemic has taken a turn for the worse.

"It was 40 degrees at a collegiate waterski tournament in Iowa.. In April. This dude just got done skiing, had no dry clothes, so decided to air dry while they all cheered on their fellow KU skier!"

By the way Sue, we're dropping Invisible from your nickname. You're now just Woman.

What happens when 8 year olds play GTA 4

"They're out for revenge... Just don't ask them to spell it."

Gross overuse of the "SHIFT" button must be dealt with accordingly.

Going for a brisk walk on the beach to reflect as his wife rests in the house, satisfied beyond her wildest dreams.

Think this is scary? Imagine its owner pinning this cat down to apply the necessary makeup. Chilling!

"My buddy said he'd get a totally f'in crazy tat if we got people to pay for it."

As you wish.

Almost as romantically epic as Zeus's flaming trident on his stomach

For research he played Halo for 2 weeks straight without bathing and only consumed microwaved fish stix.

"Crazed local see-saw catapults unsuspecting children onto reckless street"

Tonight, 80% chance of getting owned by Firefox. Tomorrow, scattered showers.

Microsoft's fresh, new, original marketing campaign.

America's fight against the obesity epidemic has taken a turn for the worse.

Think this is scary? Imagine its owner pinning this cat down to apply the necessary makeup. Chilling!

As you wish.

If LOLCATS ruled the world.

She was a necessary sacrifice that The Pope demanded.

Shamed by sweat.

The truck is 66 percent loaded. Please wait.

After a game vs China, they wrapped Jenny Finch's shoulder in ice, by chance highlighting her awesome boobs.

Looks like someone hit her with a reverse paddle.

Spontaneous girlsplosion.

Fortunately no zero trans-fat either

You think parallel parking a car is hard?

Does she get in for free now?

Political Promises

If you were wondering what true love looks like, that guy on the left knows.

This town deserves a better class of Facebook graffiti artists...and I'm gonna give it to them.

Lava dick: the manliest thing ever.

They should really make a "that guy" Where's Waldo.

You would not at all be surprised by how hard it is to find adult-sized Pooh formal-wear.

Desperate for a more mainstream audience, The Wall Street Journal has reduced itself to catch phrases.

Think this is scary? Imagine its owner pinning this cat down to apply the necessary makeup. Chilling!

As you wish.

Spontaneous girlsplosion.

If you were wondering what true love looks like, that guy on the left knows.

This town deserves a better class of Facebook graffiti artists...and I'm gonna give it to them.

Screw baseball; THIS is America's national pastime.

Why are you reading this caption?

CAUTION: There's a silly sign coming up.

And remember, police officers enjoy a good prank too.

Typical Tuesday.

Psych! There are just zombies doing roadwork ahead.

What's hotter than being hot? Sun damage.

Hello, righty? Yeah, this is lefty. What, say that again? I can barely hear you. Just email me.

God bless America!

A much better movie.

This is great because, really, both names could mean penis.

The ultimate shaming.

"This man was in the drive-thru at a tobacco store on a riding lawn mower, towing what appeared to be his mother in a rocking chair and a night gown. It's a miracle I was able to capture this on film."

In his new movie, Van Damme plays a squirrel.

The Air Guitars have been oppressed for far too long.