CH Staff's Articles
30 total in January 2007
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- Watch this potato gun tear through a tennis racquet and a computer screen and be thankful that you don't know these kids.
- I'm pretty sure these are the mouse trap nipple kids from yesterday. Here, they give you more reasons to want to fight them.
- This is exactly what I always want to happen when I watch people selling swords on the Home Shopping Network.
- How to hide an erection. Finally! Where were you when I needed you in 7th grade Geography?
- Seriously, how awesome is this toilet? Just check it out and imagine what it would be like to take a crap in there. Awkward, yet glorious.
Awesome Updates
Mike Karnell talks to us about becoming a tool.
Jackie imagines what it would be like to meet College Humor Comment Cing, Cody Arant.
How to get your update linked from The Round Up: Bite someone else's style
Pic of the Day
Oh whatever, you would totally hit it.
Jackie imagines what it would be like to meet College Humor Comment Cing, Cody Arant.
How to get your update linked from The Round Up: Bite someone else's style
Pic of the Day
Oh whatever, you would totally hit it.
The Graphic Truth
Popularity Of Names Over The Last 100 Years
Phineas
Adolph
Mario
John
Slap Bracelet
Orenthal James
CollegeHumor Presents: Petflix
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- This video of a guy setting a record for 90 degree pushups is really depressing. Yesterday I ran two blocks to catch a subway and I almost threw up.
- These X-Rays are pretty intense. Nails in peoples heads, a light bulb in a butt, bones made out of PVC pipes? Look at all the magical things you can find inside people!
- What's worse than getting deferred from a school you applied early to? Getting an accidental e-mail congratulating you on being "accepted." In your face!
- Why would you snap a mouse trap on your nipple? I don't know why but this kid makes me angry. So, if anyone can find him, tell him I wanna fight him. Me and my friends vs him and his friends. Let's go.
- The winner of the fight mentioned above gets to fight these people who maintain that the world is flat.
Don't Forget
We are still looking for America's Hottest College Girl. If you're hot, sign up here or if you know someone who should sign up, send them this link: www.collegehumor.com/hottestgirl/signup
We are still looking for America's Hottest College Girl. If you're hot, sign up here or if you know someone who should sign up, send them this link: www.collegehumor.com/hottestgirl/signup
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- How old are Pamela Anderson's sons? I really feel bad for them. At some point, they're going to be teenagers, and their mother will still be doing this. Still, she is pretty hot.
- I think this guy does exactly what I would do if I ever broke into a house. Food, porn and fire extinguishers. That's how you spend a weekend.
- This video is crazy. Imagine you and all of your Asian friends are playing a friendly game of soccer somewhere in Asia. Then all the sudden, this happens!
- Here are the top ten objects inserted into people's orifices. Not all at once, of course. But even so, an octopus? See for yourself.
- This hand art is kind of unbelievable. In a lot of ways, really. Namely the amount of time people must spend painting these, and the amount of time people spend having them painted on their hands.
Awesome Updates
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- Seriously. Just watch this video. Watch it until the end. It's the strangest video on body language that I've ever seen. I can't do it justice by describing it. Just. Watch.
- Something about Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray starring in a claymation film depicting the life of Anne Frank really gets me. I don't know what it is. See for yourself.
- This guy is either the coolest dad ever, or the worst. I'll save the judging for you. But I will tell you that he straps a rocket to his son's skateboard. Watch til the end to see it really take off.
- Jessica Biel isn't that hot. Look guys, I'm serious. She's just not attractive. I don't get why people like her. This picture is stupid. All you see is her butt. You can't even see the face!
- Here's a classic. The best part is that he gets up from the botched back flip and tries to keep nun-chucking. Horrifying.
Awesome Updates
Did you guys know that today is the 72nd birthday of the invention of the beer can? Chris did.
Pic of the Day
You know a pipe is good when it takes three people to operate it.
You know a pipe is good when it takes three people to operate it.
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- This is just a really awesome picture. I won't ruin the surprise by telling you what it is. Fine! I'll give you a hint. It's a picture of Niagara Falls completely frozen. But I'm not telling you anything else!
- This goes along with my theme from yesterday of amazing stuffed animal's for your kids. Take a look at the fake horses head!
- Check out this great video of comedian Steven Wright.
- I'm linking these pictures of women mud wrestling only so I can protest them. Everyone know that KY Gelly is the way to go. Mud, though sexy in it's own right, is no good because it hides the women! Think about it!
- Expose your genitals to me once, shame on you. Expose them to me twice, shame on- actually, still, shame on you.
Awesome Updates
Steve Collins makes his own Hot College Chick of the Week
Dave Mulis talks about The Most Dangerous Animal Ever
Pic of the Day
You think you've been really drunk, but have you ever been shave-a-penis-into-your-chest drunk?
Dave Mulis talks about The Most Dangerous Animal Ever
Pic of the Day
You think you've been really drunk, but have you ever been shave-a-penis-into-your-chest drunk?
Cute College Girl of the Week: Illona Agapova
Age: 21 – The age when people start telling you, “It’s all downhill from here”.
Year: Senior
School: University of North Florida. We don’t play football.
Hometown: Krasnodar, Russia. You probably have never been there. If you have, call me.
Major: English.
Favorite Drink: It’s a toss up between Red Bull with Vodka and a good Martini.
I’m trying to sleep with you, what should my approach be like? Tell me I have the most beautiful eyes you have seen and/or my rack is better than your last girlfriend’s. But really, I like the sweet, intellectual type who is impressive without talking about himself and is interesting because he is actually genuine.
What’s something that wouldn’t work? Talking about how you terrorized the new guys who joined your frat, begging, and the ultimate killer is: “So, uh, what do you want to talk about now?”. It then becomes obvious that you can’t carry on a conversation and are putting way too much pressure on something that should come naturally.
What’s your favorite base? Home. Oh. We were talking about baseball, right?
Is it cool if I still measure foreplay in terms of bases? Yes, as long as you aren’t narrating all the action with baseball terms. Otherwise, you will strike out and I’ll have to call in for a relief pitcher.
What’s your most embarrassing college moment? Oh, one time I was pulling out the parking garage and pulled up to a car full of really cute guys. I was trying to get their attention by putting in a random CD that was in my car, I turned the volume up really high before the first song had a chance to play and all of a sudden it started blaring “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!”. I did get their attention, but that’s because I stepped on the gas and went through a red light to get away.
Who is your least favorite Rice Krispies cartoon, Snap, Crackle or Pop? Pop. Someone explain to me why he is wearing military clothes.
More pictures of Illona after the jump!
Graphic Truth
Number of friends
Amount of money your parents are "wasting" on you
Depression
Social acceptance of hooking up with Freshmen
How obsolete your computer is
Weight
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- So here's a page of a bunch of hot girls doing beer bongs. The only reason I am linking this is because I have fallen in love. If anyone knows the second girl from the left in the second row, please, have her call me.
- I'm being serious right now. This video right here is my dream. It's my dream coming true. I always wish my life was like a musical; where I could break into song at any time. This happens here.
- I won't say much about this video other than it's a dude jumping over a car. I'll also say that it's very impressive. It's also awesome.
- These toys are the kind of toys I'm going to buy my children. Any stuffed animal that has felt blood in it is cool with me. These little guys need cuddling more than anyone.
- This video is undeniable proof that girls fart! Spread the word, men! Women flatulate!
Pic of the Day
"I call it... Petoria. I was going to call it Peterland, but that gay bar by the airport took it."
"I call it... Petoria. I was going to call it Peterland, but that gay bar by the airport took it."
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- It's always very impressive when someone makes something very uncool, very cool. Like people who do Rubik's Cubes really fast. Well, thanks to this video, pogo sticks become awesome
- Think about hail for a second. It's solid pieces of jagged ice falling from the sky. Now imagine it's the size of a pool ball. Scary right? Take a look.
- There's a very good chance I'm only linking this because I had a huge crush on Posh Spice. In fact, that is why. But she is hot. And you can see her nipples.
- Internet Classic: This next descriptive sentence says it all. A foreign woman yells about her dog, who bites her on the vagina. Watch
- This video of a kite boarder out of control is my new excuse for not playing sports. Not only could I not do this, but it's dangerous
Awesome Updates
Don't miss Sean's One Man's Story
And remember to read up on Danimal's Governator Drinking Game
And remember to read up on Danimal's Governator Drinking Game
Pic of the Day
It's really, really thin.
How To The Girl #4 Is Out! Watch It! NOW!
It's really, really thin.
How To The Girl #4 Is Out! Watch It! NOW!
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- Honestly, at first you don't know who you'd root for in a fight against Star Wars nerds and emo kids, but it becomes unbelievably clear very quickly: Star Wars nerds. Check it out
- Something about a briefcase that can shoot bullets really scares me. It's probably the bullet aspect. I'm not afraid of regular briefcases. Check it out
- I challenge anyone to find something cuter than this laughing baby. I was going to get a vasectomy until I saw this video. Check it out
- Why do we love seeing celebrities nipple slips? I think it's because it's like seeing a hot girl who you don't talk to naked. Check it out
- 6 legs and two vagina? Coupled with yesterday's movie trailer I'd say sheep are having a pretty awesome week. Check it out
Awesome Updates
Justin's response To Alice's Guide to the female anatomy. Read it here.
Pic of the Day
Flava Flav, eat your heart out.
Flava Flav, eat your heart out.
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- Two in the pink.... prison? Come on, doesn't prison have enough gay connotations? Making these guys wear pink jumpsuits is only going to make them want to commit violent crimes as soon as they get out.
- Interestingly, these fire-breathers hate spicy foods. Seriously, you guys should try this at home. You know who should definitely try this, Ryan Pellico. You got that, Ryan. I hate you.
- Who knew a Zippo could be so magical? Maybe all these Zippo tricks will distract the ladies from the fact that you're the kind of guy who carries a Zippo.
- A baaaad, baaaaad horror movie preview. Obvious puns aside, I think a horror movie about sheep is long overdue. Who wants to see this with me?
- A Ninja will solve all your problems. Favorite line: "What should I be for Halloween?" "Quiet."
Featured Articles
Jesse Gold's "College Humor Comments On A Thumb War"
Steve Horvath's "BrahllegeHumor.com"
Alice's "Female Anatomy for the Simple Minded"
Steve Horvath's "BrahllegeHumor.com"
Alice's "Female Anatomy for the Simple Minded"
Pic of the Day
Japan can even make a no smoking sign nonsensical.
Japan can even make a no smoking sign nonsensical.
The Michael Showalter Showalter
CollegeHumor presents the first in a series of hard-hitting interviews hosted by comedian/philanthropist Michael Showalter. 
Click to Watch
Click to Watch
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- Taser yourself in the nuts. No seriously, it's awesome. "When I start flailing, you come over here and rip these things off of me, alright buddy?" Idiot.
- The cutest letter opener... ever. Even cuter, this letter is actually addressed to Santa, and it's written by a puppy named Giggles.
- If you have a third nipple, you might as well pierce it. Or get it removed... either one. I don't think the term, "If you've got it, flaunt it" applies to third nipples.
- Meet me on the corner. I'll be the guy with the Arm Penis. And the penis on this guy's arm is 6 and a half inches. Flaccid. I don't know whether I should be sympathetic or jealous.
- These guys really needed to do their laundry. These guys had a van full of over 18,000 dollars in quarters. And hundreds of dollars worth of stuffed animals from claw machines.
Don't Miss
Cute College Girl of the Week: Ashley Marie
Age: 19
Year: Sophomore
School: Central Michigan
Hometown: Rochester Hills, MI
Major: Communications
Favorite Drink: A large glass of Pinot Grigio please!….gotta keep it classy!
How would you advise a guy to go about trying to get with you: Be genuine, if you’re honestly interested in me and not some specific body part then I’ll definitely give you a chance.
What would you advise him not to do/say: Come up to me and start the most awkwardly boring conversation, I’m going to walk away. Say something extremely cheesy or non-original, I’ll quickly put you in your place!
Do you have a boyfriend: It’s complicated
Can you describe to me the ideal kissing technique: I’m a fan of sensual kissing, keep it slow and smooth with a little tongue…… just because you have a tongue doesn’t mean you have to use it constantly!
What’s your most embarrassing college moment: After some crazy dancing on the caged platform at Mt. Pleasants Wayside, I had the fabulous idea to use one of the poles to provocatively slide down onto the dance floor fireman style, but apparently there’s no friction between smooth metal poles and sweaty hands (eww I know) so I ended up smacking my thigh on the edge of the platform and was crippled for 5 mins while my leg turned black and blue!
Do you prefer to cuddle, snuggle, nuzzle or spoon (After I rock your world) I heart spooning
More pictures of Ashley after the jump!
Graphic Truth
The Round Up
Hotlinks
- It's a different kind of magic... it's Bubble Magic.
- I think I want to become an ejector seat tester.
- The first thing religious children learn to build.
- Nothing wrong with smacking your kid on live TV.
- 1. Find an insane man. 2. Give him a microphone.
Pic of the Day
WAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUPPPPPPPPP
WAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUPPPPPPPPP
The Round Up (Formerly Staff Picks)
Hotlinks
- This round of urine shots is on me.
- Rule #1 of electric fences...
- Buy a piece of the Aggro Crag. Let's go to Mo!
- Snorting in the line of fire
- This is totally kosher to say on live TV.
Pic of the Day
"Alright sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car and take a breathalyser test."
"No, sir, I'm going to have to ask YOU to step out of the car."
"Alright sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car and take a breathalyser test."
"No, sir, I'm going to have to ask YOU to step out of the car."
Staff Picks
Staff Picks
Hotlinks
- What's Erik Estrada doing these days? Farting.
- When your head's in an elephants butt, life is grand.
- He knows Kung Fu.
- David Blaine, you're a hack.
- Know those crappy street drummers? This isn't one.
Pic of the Day
The ancient Egyptians worshiped cats, and many believe the pyramids were built to honor them.
The ancient Egyptians worshiped cats, and many believe the pyramids were built to honor them.
Staff Picks
Hotlinks
- If this cat wants a goldfish... he's getting it.
- Child of the Year Award
- Hey athletes. Get in touch with your feminine side.
- A jump that would make Tony Hawk cry like a toddler.
- This is why you drink responsibly at office parties.
Commenter's Corner
Jake interviews the original "Photoshopped!" commenter. Read it here.
Pic of the Day
Hold back those tears, dude...
Hold back those tears, dude...
The Morning Poll
We want to know...
Graphic Truth
Bitterness towards Family Guy
Time spent defending the continuous quality of the show
Likelihood of saying, "Come on guys, from The Simpsons?" after obscure quotes
Amount you appreciate Maggie
Average screen time given to your favorite character (known as the Cletus Conjecture)
Belief that learning the greater Simpsons vernacular is a cromulent activity that embiggens the mind
Amount that you "get" Comic Book Guy
Staff Picks
Hotlinks
Pic of the Day
You gotta root for something...
For all you commenters
Jesse Gold did another installment of "CollegeHumor Comments..." Check it out.
Staff Picks
Staff Picks
Hotlinks
Staff Picks
Staff Picks
Hotlinks
Pic of the Day
Graphic Truth
Amount of mustache combs you own
How ironically funny your friends think you are
Compliments
Amount of mustache competitions won
Amount you look like a cop
Amount you look like a homosexual
Amount of hair you'll be able to easily chew
Desire to kidnap women and tie them to railroad tracks
View profile
Send a messageCalendar
- 2008 December 2 Articles
- 2008 November 19 Articles
- 2008 October 16 Articles
- 2008 September 5 Articles
- 2008 August 8 Articles
- 2008 June 1 Articles
- 2008 May 16 Articles
- 2008 April 24 Articles
- 2008 March 3 Articles
- 2008 February 32 Articles
- 2008 January 42 Articles
- 2007 December 35 Articles
- 2007 November 35 Articles
- 2007 October 50 Articles
- 2007 September 40 Articles
- 2007 August 38 Articles
- 2007 July 31 Articles
- 2007 June 34 Articles
- 2007 May 45 Articles
- 2007 April 33 Articles
- 2007 March 37 Articles
- 2007 February 32 Articles
- 2007 January 33 Articles
- 2006 December 28 Articles
- 2006 November 26 Articles
- 2006 October 24 Articles
- 2006 September 14 Articles
