CH Staff's Articles

24 total in November 2006

Staff Picks

On This Day In History Abraham Lincoln went poop (1862)

Hotlinks
1. Big stranger rodeo, the hottest new sport blowing up worldwide
2. PS3's Big Adventure
3. Rejoice! Rejoice! Jesus has come back to us!
4. Why are they whining? Tomato sauce is good...
5. Attention: If you live on a street called 'Lois Lane' Papa John's will give you free 'za

Pic of the Day

Spring Break is right around the corner!

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Graphic Truth

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Quote of the Day: After being shot while waiting in line for a PS3, victim Michael Penkala, had this to say about being assaulted.

"When they let us in the lobby there at Wal-Mart, I was on the floor coughing up blood and telling the workers to take the wallet out of my pocket and give it to my friends so they could continue waiting in line and purchase the PS3s," Mr. Penkala said. "For some reason I wasn't thinking about my wound, I was all about those PlayStations."

Via Kotaku

Hotlinks
1. Check it out, a real life Microsoft paperclip!
2. Keep your fingers crossed...
3. Hilarious over-reaaction on the Wiki for Brown Rice.
4. The best Wii fan yet. "I haven't slept in 5 days."
5. D-List spotter: The noise making guy from Police Academy.

Pic of the Day

Tis the season

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Cute College Girl of the Week: Jil Marie

Name: Jil Marie

Year: Sophomore

School: Middlesex County College

Hometown: Roselle Park, NJ

Major: Communications/ English

Favorite Drink: Corona with a lime, please! Ohh & don't forget the bottle opener! ; )

What should I say to get you to like me: Make me laugh, say something goofy! Humor is the key to my heart.

What should I say if I don't like girls and I'm actually content to sit in my room playing DDR: Well hold on for just one sec...what is ddr, is that a video game? Can i play it with you?!?

Do you have a boyfriend: Me, myself, and I.

Cargo pants are still cool, true or false: On my guy, of course...Love all those little mystery pockets. Never know what there hiding in them...

What's your most embarrassing college moment: I went to class on the wrong day, sat down, and waited for class to start. Everyone was staring at me funny so I looked at my calendar really fast and noticed it was only monday. To top it off the proffessor asked me if I was a new student in the class. Lets just say I ran out of there pretty fast.

Spell oscilloscope, no cheating!: o...s...c...ok wait-Hold up- what was the word again!??

More pictures of Jil after the jump!

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Street Fighter: The Later Years - Part II

CollegeHumor returns to the lives of the Street Fighter characters 1 day later. But, like, 1 day later than 10 years later or whatever.

(click image to watch)

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CH Interview: Mahir Cagri

Our very own Lukas Kaiser tracked down Turkish Internet celebrity, Mahir Cagri. Mahir has been floating around the Internet since his personal website, IKissYou, blew up in 1999. Some of his interests include, "sport , swiming , basketball , tenis , volayball , walk" and he also "like to take foto-camera (amimals , towns , nice nude models and peoples)" His words, not ours. Most recently, Mahir has been in the news claiming that Borat is based on him. Naturally, he's not very happy with Sasha Baron Cohen. Here's his side of the story.

The following interview was conducted via email and none of Mahir's words have been changed. Also, he apparently thought CollegeHumor was a Swedish site. Don't ask why, we don't know.

Lukas Kaiser: How long have you had your mustache?

Mahir Cagri: l cant remember when l start mustache but l cut sometimes Im not by muctache nonstop but usally by muctache..

LK: Are you married? If not, do you have a girlfriend?

MC: Not lm single now l havent girl friend before l have... now l want marry if l can find real girl Mean who ll love real and who have good heart-who ll support me all life and who ll respect me who llove kids who love animal nature garden and cook sweet .....l want love my kids soon.

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Staff Picks

Great Song of the Day - Biz Markie's, Just a Friend. Legally purchase it through a trusted online music distributor immediately.

Hotlinks
1. These shoes are classics. Absolute classics.
2. No wonder everyone was so lazy back then...
3. Employees of the Century!
4. Kramer blows up the Hip Hop charts with his new single.
5. Don't play rough with girls...

Pic of the Day

Hilarious yearbook ad

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On This Day In History the pilgrims were all like "And remember, nobody say anything to the neighbors about those blankets when they get here tomorrow. As far as all of you know, there are absolutely no diseases on them, got it?"

Hotlinks
1. Leslie Neilsen rips one out on live TV.
2. Awww, it's man's best friend and woman's best friend getting snuggly...
3. Behold, the worst police dog in the world!
4. And keeping with our 'world's worst' theme, here's the world's worst college student. I mean, graduate already!
5. A disgusting Thanksgiving treat, courtesy of Jones Soda.

A Super Sloppy Thanksgiving

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Hotlinks
1. A hot girl, made form the ground up...
2. Jumping from the roof to the trampoline to the pool...GONE WRONG!
3. Some footage of the great PS3 riots of 2006
4. Perhaps the worst tattoo we've seen yet.
5. Plattsburgh students know how to have a good time...

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Pic of the Day

What happens in Vegas...

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Hangover Cures

Ever wonder what your doctor would say if you asked how to cure your hangover? Well so did we! So we sent CollegeHumor comedian John Mulaney to a practicing physician in New York City to talk about the most common hangover 'cures.' Take a look.

Click the image to watch

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Super Sloppy Thanksgiving

A Thanksgiving special for anyone that grew up with Nickelodeon.

(click image to watch)

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Facebook Challenge Winner!

Three cheers for Nicholas Klingbeil whose group Elves are implausible for numerous reasons passed the 1,000 mark yesterday. Nicholas has earned himself a free BustedTee for his hard work.

Thanks to everyone who participated and you'll get another shot at that free shirt in two weeks when the Facebook Challenge returns.

Oh, and remember to join the join the official CollegeHumor Facebook group.

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Staff Picks

What's the Capital of Thailand?: I don't know either.

Hotlinks
1. Extremely Raw Sushi
2. Kevin federline's last note to Britney. So romantic!
3. Jerry Springer + Dwarf Fighting = HEAVEN
4. Sprint Phone Crime Deterrent
5. Hyper realistic giants, too scary.

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Pic of the Day

To the beer cave!

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Bully Dodgeball Tournament

Last week, to kickoff the release of the PS2 game, Bully, we teamed up with Rockstar Games and held dodgeball tournaments at thirteen colleges across the US. The competition was intense, in a 4th grade "Gimme your lunch money, gaywad" sort of way. More importantly, the female players were surprisingly cute, and not the least bit butch, as one might expect.

Since we can't afford to fly the winning teams from each school around to play each other, we had each team make a video to convince us why they're the best team in the country. Some of our early favorites are MSU, Texas, and Maryland. But you should go and decide for yourself, check it out Here

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Rivalry Week Rundown

It's rivalry week here at CollegeHumor and we're getting the spirit by finding the hottest girl at these schools: LSU, Ole Miss, Alabama, Aurburn, Ohio State and Michigan. If you think you've found the hottest girl at any of those schools, send us a link to her Facebook profile at RivalryWeek@Gmail.com. The absolute hottest will compete against her rival for the real victory.

But until then, let's break down this weekend's competition.

MICHIGAN v. OHIO STATE
Current BCS Average:
Michigan: .9735
Ohio State: .9765
The Edge: Ohio State. That .003 margin is thinner than Tressel's sweater vest.

Head to Head Victories:
Michigan: 57
Ohio State: 39
The Edge: Michigan. Though most of those Wolverine victories came before the advent of the forward pass.

Most Lopsided Victory in Series:
Michigan: 86-0 over Ohio State in 1902
Ohio State: 50-14 over Michigan in 1968.
The Edge: Ohio State. Adjusting for inflation, that 1902 score is more like 13-0.

CollegeHumor Power Rankings:
Michigan: 10th
Ohio State: 49th
The Edge: Michigan. Three acapella groups at Ohio State? That's not gonna help anybody.

Players You'd draft today in your NFL Fantasy Keeper League if it were legal:
Michigan: Hart and Manningham
Ohio State: Troy Smith, Antonio Pittman, Ted Ginn Jr.
The Edge: Ohio State. Now if you could only figure out who to drop. (Hint:
Mark Brunell)

Mascot:
Wolverine: A solitary, muscular, carnivorous North American Mammal.
Buckeye: The brown nut of a tree or shrub
The Edge: Michigan. Frankly we're surprised Ohio State hasn't changed its mascot yet.

TOTAL SCORE: Ohio State 3 - Michigan 3
Prediction: We don't condone gambling, but if you are planning on making things interesting, we'd suggest betting the farm on: One Great Football Game!

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Staff Picks

On This Day In History! It rained in Minneapolis (1986)

Hotlinks
1. The Simpson's movie trailer has arrived.
2. Another shining example of 'Who named This Company?'
3. The racist frat guy from Borat has a Myspace!
4. Irony is the cruelest kind of funny...
5. And now, something you should never do: Kick a cop in the nuts.

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Pic of the Day

Borat For Life!

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Cute College Girl of the Week: Alexandra Anthony

Name: Alexandra Anthony

Age: 18

Year: Freshman

School: University of North Carolina Chapel Hill

Hometown: Miami, FL

Major: Political Science and/or International Studies

Favorite Drink: Vodka Tonic (should I say Shirley Temple?)

I really want to make you to fall in love with me, how should I go about doing that: Make me laugh. Add in a hot body, daily foot massages, the perfect mix of sensitivity and intrigue and you're set.

How should I not go about doing that: Be as arrogant and as ignorant as possible. Also, don't give me the respect I deserve.

What's the best pickup line you've ever heard: Frankly, I have yet to hear of any worthy of mentioning.

Is there such a thing as too much hair-gel: Oh, is there. If there's any dripping involved, you know you've gone over the edge.

What's your most embarrassing college moment: I got in a food fight in the rain where me and this guy threw fruit smoothies at each other. I thought it was over when, as I was walking home, he runs up behind me and dumps hot salsa all over me - in my hair, down my shirt, everything. I ended up walking home smelling like a really bad mix of mango and Tostitos.

Who is your favorite character on Doug: Skeeter, hands down.

More pictures of Alexandra after the jump!

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Staff Picks

Hotlinks
1. Toys R' Us doesn't really understand what the Wii is.
2. Wikipedia helps you understand the complicated rules of calling 'Doorknob.'
3. Ladies and gentlemen, the real Ali G...
4. Anybody else want a pet monkey?
5. Did you ever think anyone would get this excited about Pokemon?

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Pic of the day

Improving on the kegstand...

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Damn that Rival University!

Next week is college football's biggest rivalry week of the year. Slated to compete next Saturday the 18th are LSU v. Ole Miss, Auburn v. Alabama, and the grandaddy of all college football games: Michigan v. Ohio State.

But why wait till next Saturday? Collegehumor wants to pit these six schools against eachother all next week in our first annual Rivalry Week '06: Craziest and Hottest Fans contest.

Everybody from LSU, Ole Miss, Auburn, Alabama, Michigan, and Ohio State is encouraged to submit their photos of a) the craziest fan and b) the hottest fan at their school by Saturday, November 18th. Next week we will put them head-to-head on the front page for everybody to vote on.

The winning school in each competition (Hottest Fan/Craziest Fan) will be awarded three extra points come next Saturday. Don't worry, we've run this idea past the NCAA and they are thrilled about it.

So dress up, or dress down if needed, and start submitting your photos. May the best schools win!

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Staff Picks

Did You Know that there are more than 100 individual hairs on your head? It's True!

Links
The sample tracks from American Hardcore sound pretty tame...

The dangers of pole vaulting

A very comprehensive examination of the 5 Second Rule.

K-Fed got dumped via text message.

A double-dose of brilliance!

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Losticil

For anyone whose friends talk about Lost all the time...

Click pic to watch...

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Cute College Girl of the Week: Michelle Esposito

Name:Michelle Esposito

Age: 20

Year: Sophomore

School: Duquesne University

Hometown: Pittsburgh, PA

Major: Elementary Education

Favorite Drink: Cosmopolitans

What does a guy need to do to get under your shirt (Into your heart): Play acoustic guitar.. and I'm an athlete, so if you're an athlete - def bonus points.

What should a guy not do: A guy should not have excessive "˜bills' - aka, be Boring, Immature, Lazy, Lie, or be Shy. But he could pay the bills..

Hey, remember Hey Dude?: Yes. But the question really is, do you remember Legends of the Hidden Temple?

Does this sweatband I'm wearing around my arm look cool: Hey, the 80's called, they want their sweatband back..

Do you have a boyfriend: no.

What's the best thing that's happened to you so far this year: Probably when the Steelers won the AFC Championship & proceeded to win Super Bowl XL - the aftermath of Carson Street celebrating was indescribable.

More pictures of Michelle after the jump!

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