Summer Code of Conduct

Dear Mr. Thomas "Tommy" Wilder,I have received reports indicating that you have violated at least seven summer housing policies. Your alleged behavior infringes upon the Summer Housing Code of Conduct (2008 ed.), which prohibits:  &...

The Facebook Bumper Stickers of My Great-Uncle Ernie

Cheating by Major

Mathematics: Carve all of the formulas into the wooden notches of your abacus. Proctors can clear the memory of a TI-89, but they won't take the time to sand down your addition machine.English: Discreetly conceal The Complete Works of Shakespeare...

What 'The Passion of the Christ' Taught Me

1. Not to sound gay, but Jesus probably pulled SO much tail back in the day. I mean he was practically worshipped by so many people. Like an ancient rockstar. Seriously, chicks washed his feet for nothing in return.2. So apparently he comes...

What Your Fast Food Selection Says About You

Taco Bell - I'm a stoner who has fallen into a routine of getting baked and scarfing a grande meal at 1 am.Subway - I'm fatter than holy hell, but under the delusion that eating this toasted footlong meatball sub with extra cheese and a large Coke...

Internet Funeral