Patrick Cassels's Articles

2 total in May 2008

  • CollegeHumor Classic

    God, According to Indiana Jones

    by Patrick Cassels May 22, 2008


    Raiders of the Lost Ark

    GOD: Moses, you will take these 10 Holy Commandments down to the Israelites, so that my laws may be obeyed.

    MOSES: Thank you, my Lord.

    GOD: You will then seal my Commandments in a sacred ark, where they will be protected.

    MOSES: But what if someone should try and open it?

    GOD: Then I shall melt their faces.

    MOSES: I'm... I'm sorry, my Lord. What was that?

    GOD: Scary ghosts shall pop out, and I shall melt their faces. Just melt them right off, my son.
    Keep Reading


    See More: Collegehumor Classic Indiana Jones Movies
    Like it? You Like it! (579) Comments (147)

  • CollegeHumor Interview

    Jack Handey

    by Patrick Cassels May 14, 2008


    As the name behind     Saturday Night Live's short-but-hilarious "Deep Thoughts," writer Jack Handey has become synonymous with the art of the bizarre one liner. Since leaving SNL (where he also wrote several memorable sketches, including "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer") in 2002, Handey has contributed humorous essays to The New Yorker, and in April, published What I'd Say to the Martians and Other Veiled Threats, a collection of his writing. Below, he talks with CollegeHumor about comedy and car-driving felines.

    What I'd Say To The Martians includes both essays and Saturday Night Live scripts. Are either of these formats more difficult than the other?
    Both are hard. To me, the best humor pieces are written from the point of view of a specific character. So when you're thinking of ideas, you think about what your character would be interested in, what he could pontificate about. In TV, you're just trying to come up with a funny ideas. Also, in TV you're thinking visually. I do, anyway. I try to think of a funny image, and then what might explain that funny image.

    For sheer writing, doing a humor piece is probably more difficult. But physically, TV really wears you out. Saturday Night Live, anyway. There the writers produce their own pieces, so you have to make sure the sets, props, sound effects, etc., are right. By the after-show party, you're ready for that beer.
    Keep Reading


    See More: CollegeHumor Interview Jack Handey Books
    Like it? You Like it! (43) Comments (37)
    • Patrick Cassels Purchase College

    About Me

    I was a forward for the Celtics from '78 to '92, once scoring 20 points in a single quarter against the Hawks... Wait, that was Larry Bird.

    View profile
    Send a message

    Calendar

    Visit Our Partners

    next previous

    BFF

    With hot models, sports, fitness and entertainment news, hot models and hot models, Bullz-Eye.com has become one of the Web's most popular dude sites.