How to Get a Girl While Moving Out of Your Dorm

This is your last chance here, gentlemen. That girl from your floor whom you thought was kind of weird until you saw her in a towel and reconsidered? She can still be yours.There are a few standard ways to start to charm her: if you've got some...

How to Get a Girl Online

And then you guys flirt-message back and forth a few times until, on a Friday--not like a Tuesday--you end your message with, "What are you up to this weekend?" When she tells you what she's doing and asks what you're doing you say, "I was...

How to Get a Girl on February 13th

How to Get a Girl During Finals

So, you got interested in this girl because you thought she might be sort of interesting and probably easy, but sometime around early November you got distracted and lazy and now you are really behind on your wooing. Well, all is not lost. Two...

How to Get a Girl from Your High School Class While You're Home for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving. You get a handful of days off school and schlep all the way home so that you can eat one meal. The rest of the time you don’t have anything to do but hang out with old high school friends at the home of that guy who used to...

How to Get the Taken Girl

For all of the morally bankrupt Lotharios who requested advice on stealing girls from their loving boyfriends, this one’s for you.1. It doesn’t matter whether or not your girl’s boyfriend is there when you meet her; you are not...

How to Get a Girl at the Gym

There are two kinds of girls in the world: the ones that want to get picked up at the gym, and the ones that don’t. And the only way you can tell them apart is, well, by trying to pick them up at the gym. There are, of course, four inherent...

How to Get a Girl in Class

Let’s say it’s a seminar style class. These kinds of classes put you a little closer to the On-The-Floor awkwardness, but it has the benefit of only lasting a semester.1. At first, you want to argue with your girl of choice. In class...

How to Get a Girl from Your Dorm Floor

To begin, it is a horrible idea to hook up with a girl from your floor. You will have to see her multiple times a day all year and every other person on the floor will be in your business. That said, if the school year is nearing the end and you&...

How to Get a Girl at a Party

A party is where you’ll do most of your girl fishing, but, unfortunately, it’s the most complicated place to really get a girl. Sure sometimes you can snag a wallflower ug for a bit of smooching and a grope, but really, at least...

How to Get a Girl in the Dining Hall

This is a tricky environment. You can’t assume anything about the personality of a girl in the dining hall because, you know, everyone eats at least a little. (And especially freshman year since you’re forced to buy absurd meal plans.)...

How to Get a Girl in a Library

In order to actually “get” a girl one must engage in an elaborate charade of absurd tricks and maneuvers in order to finally get your faces close enough to either kiss or have her push you away and go laugh about...