Articles Archive

5 total on Tuesday, June 3rd

  • The next best thing to tickling.

    I think the government should give delicious meat coats to the homeless next winter. No one should have to be cold and hungry. They should be able to choose their fate.
    Similarities Between Prison Inmates and The Kids I Babysit
    1. Regulated schedules for eating, sleeping, and free time.
    2. People are paid to watch over them.
    3. They save piss in a container to throw in my face.
    Fat Person Oxymoron
    Extra Bacon

    Women's Rights Rally Pick Up Line
    Once you're done standing for women's rights feel free to sit on my face.
    What Asians really mean by their peace signs.
    No more nukes! Two's enough!
    Depressing Riddle
    -Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
    -So their bodies can be easily found and brought back to loved ones if they are caught in a fire.
    What Bill Gates tells his doctor when he feels sick:

    "I don't know doctor, I feel like a million bucks."


    See More: 105 Percent

  • RULES: Submit your one best caption. No repeat tries and no replies. Winner gets a free BustedTee. Keep reading to vote on last week's captions.


    See More: Caption Contest
  • Look at him. He has no idea how many different ways he's about to almost die.

    Professor:
    K guys, can anyone in here tell me how Tyrannosaurus Rex found its food?

    Student: Most of today's scientists agree that T-Rex was a scavenger. Kind of like a prehistoric vulture or someth--

    Tim Murphy: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

    Professor: *Sigh* Something to say, Tim?

    Tim: Just that I beg to f**king differ, is all.

    Professor: Of course you do. What is it this time?

    Tim: You couldn't BE more wrong. Those things are vicious, man. They'll stop at nothing to get to their prey, even if they have to, like, tear apart an entire SUV and toss it into a ravine and make me throw up all over myself.



  • Tae Kwon Do and Aviators: the ultimate combination
    Note: Don't be fooled by the title, this is not, I repeat NOT a porno. On a side note, my apologies to everyone in the theater)

    If there's one thing I've known since childhood, especially during my extreme Ninja Turtles phase, it's that physical humor is almost always funny (unless your little brother tells on you of course. Wuss). So a movie about a full-of-himself Tae Kwon Do instructor who has his own dojo at the local mall? Sure, sign me up.

    Remember that video that came out a while back with a drunken Will Ferrell arguing with his 2 year old Landlord? That was the first video made by Adam McKay (the guy who wrote Anchorman) and Will Ferrell's production company, 'Gary Sanchez Productions'. The Foot Fist Way came on the scene at the LA film festival where Will Ferrell saw it, decided he liked it, and did what any normal person would do: throw down tons of his own money to get distribution rights to the whole thing under his new production company. LA seems fun.

    Anyway, since this is a small time movie going big, its kind of an acquired taste - it's a little like Napoleon Dynamite, except with scenes that are actually funny.



    See More: Movie Review

  • More Cyanide and Happiness at Explosm.net


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