Doctors Announce HEATH Toffee Bars Cause Sleeplessness

by Kyle C. on January 27, 2008

In a recent study by the Doctors of America, HEATH Toffee Bars were conclusively found to cause sleeplessness in consumers. The doctors reported that all five people who have eaten HEATH bars with in the last 4 months have only been sleeping an average of only two hours a night. Doctors claim that this behavior is unsafe and is caused by deep issues inside of the toffee.

UPDATE...

In response to this recent news, HERSHEY'S has struck a deal with AMBIEN to fill HEATH Toffee Bars with medication so that these consumers can finally have some much needed sleep. HERSHEY'S released this statement:

"HERSHEY'S deeply regrets any sleep problems caused with HEATH. Rather than finding out what the problem in the HEATH formula is, we have decided to easily fix the problem by loading the HEATH bars with AMBIEN medication. Hopefully, this treatment of HEATH will allow the consumers to safely ingest these delicious toffee bars once again. Thank you."

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