Teenage Religious Strife

by Patrick Cassels on July 26, 2007

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: Hey, I heard there's going to be a crazy party at Kendall’s Friday night. Wanna go?

TEENAGE JEW: I can't. I have to wake up early Saturday morning and go to temple. I know, lame, right? But I heard there's an even crazier party Saturday night.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: I can't make it. I have to wake up early Sunday morning and go to church.

TEENAGE JEW: That's too bad.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: I know. What a bummer.

TEENAGE JEW: Well, at least we'll be able to hang out my Bar Mitzvah celebration next week. I should be a lot of fun.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: Not as much fun as my Confirmation party. There’s a DJ coming from the bad part of the city, and he’s bringing all the best rap music.

TEENAGE JEW: I’m getting a magician.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: My mom's boyfriend will bring his dirt bike.

TEENAGE JEW: Forget it. I have to be home before Sundown, when the Sabbath starts. Can you give me a ride?

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: Actually, I was planning to stop at the mall and buy a new Nativity scene for Christmas.

TEENAGE JEW: What?! But it's the middle of August. Christmas isn't for months.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: I also need another crucifix—to better worship my Lord. My glorious Lord.

Likes
24   Recording...
Share this article
Facebook Fark
StumbleUpon
Embed Myspace, blog
Send to Phone
Email
Check out
Patrick Cassels

Patrick Cassels

Purchase College

View Profile
Send a message

RECENT ARTICLES

More
There are 23 comments. Signin or create an account to see them.

1,862 / 4,907
Newest Articles

NEWER    OLDER

Visit Our Partners

next previous

BFF

Onion Sports has quickly become the nation's number-one site for hard-hitting sports news, stats, and information that isn't true. If you hadn't figured this out yet, what The Onion is to news, Onion Sports is to sports.